Woke up rather early today. 8.50am! Cos jiayi got ballet lesson, long bang dad's car to Kovan. Thought it was a good thing. But it turned out to be NOT! cos board train from Kovan = no seats -.- So had to stand all the way. Reached quite early (: first time so early. Haha. Then worked all the way till 7!

Rushed to Far east to look for bags. Found none ): Maybe its bad to shop alone. Cos You see this shop that u wanted to go into, but then , the shop is like empty. Nobody shopping inside. Thats makes me not daring enough to step into the shop cos all the attention will be on me! ): Decided to go Bugis instead. After awhile, saw a bag. Quite nice la. Though its not the type i wanted but.. needed a bag badly, and though im free tmr, dun really feel like going out. Haha. Just wants to stay at home for the last day to enjoy myself. Saw the bag. Was feeling rather confused if i should buy, cos its abit ex and its the last piece. On display -.- So just bluffed the person that i want the bag but not enough cash, so need go atm first. That means the bag is reserved by me. But on actual fact, i just wanted to go other shops to see if there are nicer ones. LOL. Saw another one. Its cheaper but in the end, i still chose the first one. Went back. When making payment, realised i forgot to go atm -.- But then the salesgirl was nice. She volunteered to accompany to the atm machine so that i need not go to the atm then walk back to the shop again. Then she asked me if im going home after this. So yup. Then she suggested to go to the atm machine near the mrt. So nice la. But unlucky thing was the atm machine ran out of cash. Cannot withdraw $! No choice but to use my old $10 note to top up what i have to pay for the girl. Walao i was so reluctant to give her la. Cos its those old old type of $10 note leh ): ):

Received Sean's sms, asking me if i have old sec school tb. Cos his friend, a tuition teacher wants to borrow. And of course, the kind me searched my storeroom (: Perpired a little after searching for the books though i have bathed! Tsk tsk. So return his cd and his notes too. Met him at the fitness corner near my house. As usual, chatted. Then funny part was he wanted to test how clear was his camera. So ended up taking alot of photos instead -.- LOL. Btw, i love his phone (: Before that, thought of buying a sony ericsson cybershot phone, forget the model already. But Km faster than me! Then changed my mind and said i wanted omnia instead. Sean faster than me!!! Wahhh dun want to have the same phone as my friends. later they say copycat. HAHA! So....i have decided not to change my phone! Though its abit old alrdy la. But main reason i dun wanna change is cos the phone contains alot of memories (: Though some are in the past, i still treasure them..

Woke up at close to 2pm today! Ok. NOt only today. Its like everyday. Wanted to wake up early to study. Set three alarms. In the end, keep snoozing till 2 -.- Really babi man. Haha. So watched tv all the way till 3 plus? Then did my ppt (: Halfway, mum told me at night cannot go out cos we (family) going out. So there goes my sushi date with xw, esther, amanda, raenes and chermel ):

Went amk hub at night. Had the injection. The flu one. Dinnered then shopped around. Dint bought anything. Tried on clothes but in the end, no size. Waste my time trying out and waste my time! Lol. Then home-ed after that. It was around 9 plus. Cos dad wasn't feeling really well.

Home-d and tv-ed all the way again till 1 plus! Those hongkong shows really rocked. Super nice la. Unlike singapore shows. Since i can't sleep, so msn-ed and continue my ppt again. Edited my ppt and now, it looks much more nicer. I love it especially two of the slides >.<

Supposed to work at 1 tmr. But since xw say she dun feel like waking up so early for work tmr, and since i wanted to shop for bags tmr, i changed with her. That means i need to wake up at 10 tmr. Or maybe earlier cos im always late -.- And its 2.55 now. Left with 7 hours and 5 mins of sleep. LOL. Shall go and sleep now.

School starting on Monday. Only left with sunday to slack. Walao i really envy some people got extended 1 week holiday leh. Rp and Nyp poly have! Cos both poly have swine flu cases. Heard that tp also have one case. Why np dun have?? Tsk tsk if not got extra one more week to slack. Lol. Ok. I may sound bad but...i dread going to school ):


I had finally said what i wanted to tell you after so long. And im sure you understand how im feeling. Sorry if my sms made you worried. Cos you are the only one that is left for me to confide in already. Thanks for always being there for me when i needed a listening ear.

I totally agree with this phrase. “朋友是因为认识而在一起，了解而分开。”

Out again today! Did some mini microbio revision before going out to meet xw. Went swensens for the topless 5! Lol. It was soso only. Choosed the wrong flavours. Still, lime sherbet is the best (: Then took bus 87 then 63 to eunos area. Went to watch freedom bball match. Lost to raffles. But still, good game. Glad they had fun. Haha. They celebrated christopher's birthday. Then cabbed home with chermel and xw. And chermel told us her stories in her jc. Looks like everyone dislikes their school. To be specific, Classmates.

How i wish im still in secondary school. I miss secondary school life man! ): ): ):

Shall continue my revision now! Don't know if my mum allows me to go for the sushi dinner with SBG girls tmr! Have been going out and spending alot on food these few days. Everything is $ $ $. Haha.

You asked me how i find the situation now. My answer is I DON'T KNOW. up till now, i really dun know what i want exactly. Do i just want to be friends with you or more than that? Do i really like you? I don't really know my feelings. Im such a dumbass

School today for netball. Xw accompanied me there(: Saw yingxuan on the bus. Like finally, i see her! Haha. Still, as cute as ever. LOL. Had lunched at Makan place first. Then headed to library. It was about 2 plus then. So started studying. Facebook and blog hopped first before we really settle down to study. Hoho. Did my research for the fungi ppt. Then went to find some books. Took me hell long to find it la. But still, i found it! Damn happy.

Then nearing 5.30, headed to sports complex for netball. First time attending this cca. Saw some girls but dun even knwo if they are from netball. Shy asking them also. LOL. So sms-ed the president. And she said there's no training today. I was like WTH??!!! she told me there's training today last week and i even confirmed with her the date. And she said cos the response was not good and it was raining today also. Wth never even sms me to inform me. I travel from sengkang all the way to clementi leh! PISSED!

So went back all the way to library. and xw was like LOL-ING all the way after i came back. But lucky got accompaniment. If not i duno how to react man. TSK TSK. Then studied. My ppt presentation was supposed to be the fungi topic. But then xw got a set of notes on algae! And just nice the topics teacher gave also got algae -.- So i was like why u never tell me earlier! LOL. Called Safurah and ask her if the algae topic taken up. And sadly, YES! tsk. Tried my luck by asking Jb to change with me. At first he was reluctant. But i think he pity me, so he changed with me in the end. But i feel bad. Cos i really wanted to do the algae topics. So i smsed him to tell him that i did the algae topic halfway, then i realised my topic was supposed to be the fungi one -.- MY BAD! hahhaha but still im happy cos i changed. and just now i found a superb website consisting of all the info i want! Shall do it tmr((:

Then left school at about 6 plus. Changed 3 buses -.- cos we missed 163. HAHHA. Reached compass at about 9. Dinner-ed at kfc. Then camwhore in the toilet! hahah. fun fun. alot of photos. will upload soon. Haha.

Continued my ppt while talking with Tong on the phone. He called from msia leh. Nice talk. Cos i get to tell him my things and i get to hear his stories! Nice (: K im gonna slp now.

Going out with xw to see freedom's bball milo cup match tmr. Wah i seem to enjoy life. I dun wan school to reopen yet! Np got extended 1 week holidays! NOT FAIR

Work at 10am today. Surprisingly, im not late >.< so reached punched card at 9.53am. And i done my job at its only 10.03am. Reason is before i reached, cl help me to do everything! LOL. Thats left me stoning at the table there cos shop 11 then open. Haha. So just helped to top up those mini sauce containers and open up those plastic bags. And time flies. Taddaaa 6pm and off i go. I slept on the mrt -.- first time k. Maybe is the effects after taking the tablet.

As usual, slacked. I swear i never even touch my books during this one plus plus weeks of holidays. Though exams are over, but still need study abit right. And i found out actually i got some hw never do yet! So did ipc hw and revision and maths mol and some maths revision just now. Realise time past so slowly today! In any other days especially when school days, im like fighting for time to study. And i tried studying SLOWLY today. Still, time past so SLOW! Is that a good thing??

Have been thinking a alot these few days. AGAIN.

最近又想了一些东西。我不怕说，我是有很多朋友。不管是我信任的，很熟的还是只是看到才讲几句话，我都很珍惜这个友情。最近跟一个朋友有些问题。吵架了。看了他的简讯后，我伤心了。他说我当他是一个玩偶。有事请才找他，没事就把他扔在一个角落。看到这个简讯之后，我非常伤心也很失望。从我的角度和我其他朋友的角度来看，我并没有这样对他。不过，向他解释会挽回一切吗？一开口说话就吵架。大家都觉得我没错，叫我不要去理他。我心里是说好。不过，我发现我做不到...

"You already have so many friends. Lose one also does not really affect and matter to you." I have heard this so many times and im pissed. Do i look like one who does not treasure friendship? I swear im gonna blast if i hear this sentence again.

Met Sean after work two days ago after work. Wanted to catch a movie but timing dun seem to suit. So just walked around cineleisure and settled at Mac again to talk. Yeah, at last settled alot of things. Good thing i guess?

Out to Msia with family yesterday! It was father's day btw. I swear i enjoy this shopping trip man! Dad went for Thai massage. Left the four females in the fammily to shop! So for the whole of two hours, it seems like im the only person shopping cos i bought the most things? Or can say nobody found things that suited them except me -.- HAHA. I bought two pairs of earrings, two nice pearly bra straps, two tops, a bag and a shoe! LOL. How cool can that be? Im so happy can. Shopping spree indeed (:

Then went for dinner at some shopping centre. And the food sucked! Seriously. And before dinner, alrdy no appetite. Cos ate the wrong thing. Then stomach not really feeling well. GIANT after that. Then home-ed. Reached home at about 9 plus.

And i drank YOMEISHU! Okay. And i htink im sensitive to this kinda "alcohol" i get rash after that! So itchy. Dint sleep well cos the itch keep pestering me for the whole night! It became better today but still, itchy. So decided to go polyclinic.

Wah, the measures the polyclinic took quite scary. Posters everywhere. See people wear mask also scared. I tried to breathe as little as i can. In case, i breathe in those air filled with germs. LOL this sounds retarded. HAHA. So ya, waited for one plus plus hours. I go in for one minute then come out already -.- Wth? But at least i dint felt bored. Cos was messaging all the way. Hoho. someone was also alone seeing doctor. So accompanied each other >.<

The medicine made me felt drowsy. Sms till halfway also fell alseep. Hhaa. And the itch at my thigh , neck and hands are damn irritating!! At least my body dun feel that itchy anymore. The medicine noob one ): hope will not itch by tmr. Cos work tmr. Opening somemore. dun even know got key anot. Im taking over auntie's work tmr man! So cool. Hope everything goes well! hahaha.

At least, i felt better today. Because we sms-ed. soon, we will go back to last time. I HOPE

Yes, as time passes, some things will be forgotten. But still, i won't forget. I dun look like those kinda person right? i will remember the happenings still.

I can say 3e2 chalet was awesome! Especially the 2nd and 3rd day. I seriously enjoyed myself. First day was boring. Normally firts day of chalet are boriinggg. so First day was just settling of money and food stuff. Shopped at ntuc for the bbq. Bought everything. Managed to sell the WWW and escape theme park tickets cos abit budget la.

Surprisingly, 20 over people came to stay over. And sadly, the chalet is too small to let everybody stay. So people like zx barry they all went to jy's house to stay and came back the second day. Lol. So first day, everyone was with their clique. most of them i can say. So was with xw all the while. While the others were playing with the card games/ taboo/ movie, me and xw went to shop around cos very bored. Went cheers. Can't get breezer! The person asked for our ic -.- so went to try our luck at ehub ntuc. Purposely choose a noob cashier. LOL. and of course, we managed to buy it ((:

So the funny thing was we bought it but we duno how to open it -.- took very long to open. We went around asking people for the beer opener or whatever u call that. and after like 10 mins? we managed to find one! So drank. And i felt hot suddenly. Its only 4% alcoholic can. And my face turned red after awhile. Such a noob or weak me. I just wanna try how it feels like la cos never really try to drink alcoholic stuffs except for martell, carlsberg and DOM. For martell, i only drank a few mouthfuls nd got rash on my face the next day. LOL

So dint sleep for the first day! played truth or dare with xw evon esther sam jaryl and ben. this game with them was really exciting man! And the video on facebook damn funny. And my first kiss gone ): given to yvonne ang! LOL. then went to mac with evon and pk and slack there. Then ben sam and des came to join us then xw after that. Then slacked at room. Helping evon and xw to tie scorpion. And she said i can help her LA PI alrdy. Cos she say i tie hair use alot of strength and its pain -.- So sorry man. AHAHA. she's not the first person who complained! My sis also. Too bad la, my hair short. if not can play alrdy. But i really master the technique to tie scorpion alrdy :D pro k. After that was playing of taboo. Very fun! Jq with justin, xw with pk and me with evon. Jq and justin were pro. Me and evon not bad! Xw and pk BOO. lol. So played bridge for the whole of morning till around 7am. cos its just to fun man! Then everyone slowly got tired. So tried lying on bed but can't sleep ): headache plus people were noisy especially ben! So high after one day of sleep. keep making funny actions and singing songs. ROFL really joker.

Second day, went selling tickets with xw and yongda. Then bought the rest of the seafoods. the prawns damn ex! Cards again in the afternoon. Love bridge <3

Took group photo and cut cake. Think pk quite surprised. Hope he is happy. HAHA. the cake quite nice la. sang birthday songs for like three times? in chinese and english. How cool can it be? lol. Then some went home. To be exact, chermel, justin, weiling, alastair, wanni and zhan xiang went home. Some went to sleep, bathe. Me, evon, xw, yusiang, des and clay were sitting outside. Then started talking. Then more and more people joined! decided to play truth or dare!

Got me, evon, esther, ben, des, clay, pk, jerry,yusiang, jq, jaryl, amanda, yongda and xw. Hope i don't miss out anyone! I swear this is the best truth or dare game ever! Found out alot of things. Know almost everybody's secrets man! its good. Cos get to know more about others. Poly alrdy. We are grown ups. Whats there to be scared of. HAHA. got to know about who had crush on who and some quite private stuffs. Hmmmmm.. I swear i dint lie about things they asked. And there's this question esther and ben asked which makes the atmosphere damn intense and went quiet suddenly. Hais. They were actually hesitating whether to ask. Then i keep saying "want ask what jiu ask la". so in the end, they asked and im really stunned. Din expect them to ask me that. And i really regret urging them to ask me. Hais. So sorry if the person is offended ):

Then at around 1 plus, got back to chalet as some got tired. Played 2 games of bridge with xw evon and yusiang. Then went back to chalet to listen to music cos was quite affected by the question asked. Got bored after awhile. Xw and ys were outside talking. Then me and des joined after that. And know what? We had a heart to heart talk session!!!! the four of us only. Its like really a nice feeling talking to them. I dint expect me to actually speak up so openly with ys and des. They are nice to talk with seriously. Listened to their stories also. And while listening to me, they gave me advices also. We talked about almost everything under the sun! From bgr to friendship to poly to studies. Everything! And i really enjoyed the time. Hours of talking! And funny thing was we sat outside and they started having itchyness on their hands and legs. MOSQUITOES. But i don't feel any itch! My blood not that sweet luh ): The others went mac to eat. They came back to joined us after eating which was like around 3-4 plus? So we ( plus esther, amanda, jq, yd and jerry) talked again! But this time, is about poly stuff and discussing about esther being the air stewardness and the aeroplane crash etc. Lol its funny to hear about all this. Air stewardess to buy big insurance to how plane can crash or explode to hijackers to 911 to everything! Too many to be listed. HAHA. Talked till around 7 plus. Then All of us squeezed to the chalet and sleep! Tried to sleep. And i managed to but whole body aching -.- Cos there's 6 people -.- damn squeezy i tell u.

I really enjoy this chalet! Its like i really get to know more about my friend's secrets and life. How are they doing. The truth of dare game really bonded us. At least i understand my friends better(: LOVE IT! hope to have another chalet soon! if nobody wanna organise, i shall organise! Though every chalet im like one of the so called organisers. Haha. But being organiser very sian lehhh.. how how. LOL. So checked out at around 10 plus. Left only a few people cos most went home first while we were sleeping. Bused home with ben jaryl, jerry, esther, jq, yd and xw. Was feeling damn tired. The while journey was quiet all the way cos everyone is shagged! LOL.

Bathed and slept till 4pm. then went for 1F01 bbq. The food nice! Somemore i go there, dun need to do the bbq-ing. LOL. Alot of prawns chicken wings and other stuffs to eat! I keep eating lo. LOL. Cos nice mah. HAHA. but sadly, i dint really talk much with my poly friends. Not close. Only like laugh when they joke and talk just to entertain them. Hais. I still prefer secondary school life. HOW!!! )))): BUsed home with siyun and JB. Only said bye when getting off the bus. Seriously, i dun even know what to talk to them k. No topics at all. Feel that they are just a friend. Only talk to them when there's school. Once outside school, no talk. In short, hi-bye friends. Thats sad. Im sure everyone agrees with me. As in 3e2. Cos we were getting emo and complaining how sucks poly friends are!!

Met sean at Rm. Talked alot..

Work today. Wah everybody call me auntie. In a joking mode of course! LOL. Cos i do the job of what auntie do la. Fun leh i think. No need to serve, no need be cashier. just help mop floor, wipe the fridge and wash rice etc. AHA. and i think i will soon become the NIAN QING BAN auntie. Cos Ah Siong put me to work on 10-6! That means opening of shop! Im a newbie man! This is auntie's job btw -.- But who cares. 6 go home leh! OMG!! Then waited for sean for 1 hour and 20 mins! LOL. Cos he bused down form airport-.- walked around. Went cine. Wanted to watch movie but timing dun suit. So just settled at mac. Talked again. And yeah, home after that.


jaryl: Yes, we did talk in chalet. You told xw that you will talk to me in this chalet. And u did it. Am i glad? No i dun think so. Reason is cos i know no matter how we talk, we cannot go back to last time alrdy. As i have said alot of times, you are my most trusted friend. I told alot of people that. Im not afraid to tell everyone that u know my everything inside out. But what happen now? You dun know me anymore. The first day of chalet, u smoked infront of me. I saw it. I dunno how to react. Am i supposed to be angry? sad? or should i just close one eye and pretend nothing is happening? you told me you would change and won't smoke. Im sure if it was last time, you won't smoke infront of me no matter what. Now everything has changed. I got alot of questions to ask u during the truth or dare session. But i dun know how. I wanna know what you are thinking. But...guess i have no chance anymore. in everyone's eyes, it may seem that we are ok already. but still, i dun think we are okay. i wanna go back to last time. where is my pm????? i can't find you anymore. please dun play hide and seek with me.

pk: Dun feel guilty already. I know you feel very sad and embarrassed during the game. Bout the questions they asked, i apologise to you on their behalf. You cried. It made me really guilty. Cos if i had not urged them, they would not have asked.. dun apologise to me. Cos i really never blame you alrdy. Its alrdy the past. Move on and get over with it. Cheer up.

kr: You said i dun treat u as a friend. you said im making use of you. But i dint. I duno what makes you think this way. But im truely disappointed in how you see me. You said im manipulating you around whenever i need help. Did i? Yes i did find you when i need help. But im not making use of u. I seriously treat you as a friend. One of my trusted friend. But now? i think u hate me. You treat me well. Yes i agree. But that does not mean i must accept you. Hais. IM confused ):

sean: Settled things totally? I think so. I hope so. I dun wanna drag any further. Cos i dun wanna pull you down further and hurt you ever again. You are really a nice guy. Sorry for doing this to you. Hope u understand .

Sometimes i really hate myself. Why i keep hurting people? im such a bitch/slut. Im angry with myself! Angry yet sad. Hais. what to do?

EDITED

Desmond msn-ed me just now. Asking me not to call myself a bitch/slut. While talking to him, i teared. why i call myself a bitch? I thought for very long just now. I put myself in other people's shoe. If im another person and i see a girl acting in the same way as me, i would scold her and call her a bitch. and he said, if people dun know me, yes they will think that way. But people who know me will think that im not that kind of person. But the problem is those who know me well will think im not those kinda person. What do those people who know me but dun know me well? What will they see me as?

Anw thanks des for cheering me up. Im really shocked that u actually msn-ed and msg me. Really glad. Thanks for listening to me and ur advices(:


Im sad and im crying..

PHOTOS :D

Woke up rather early today. 8.50am! Cos jiayi got ballet lesson, long bang dad's car to Kovan. Thought it was a good thing. But it turned out to be NOT! cos board train from Kovan = no seats -.- So had to stand all the way. Reached quite early (: first time so early. Haha. Then worked all the way till 7!

Rushed to Far east to look for bags. Found none ): Maybe its bad to shop alone. Cos You see this shop that u wanted to go into, but then , the shop is like empty. Nobody shopping inside. Thats makes me not daring enough to step into the shop cos all the attention will be on me! ): Decided to go Bugis instead. After awhile, saw a bag. Quite nice la. Though its not the type i wanted but.. needed a bag badly, and though im free tmr, dun really feel like going out. Haha. Just wants to stay at home for the last day to enjoy myself. Saw the bag. Was feeling rather confused if i should buy, cos its abit ex and its the last piece. On display -.- So just bluffed the person that i want the bag but not enough cash, so need go atm first. That means the bag is reserved by me. But on actual fact, i just wanted to go other shops to see if there are nicer ones. LOL. Saw another one. Its cheaper but in the end, i still chose the first one. Went back. When making payment, realised i forgot to go atm -.- But then the salesgirl was nice. She volunteered to accompany to the atm machine so that i need not go to the atm then walk back to the shop again. Then she asked me if im going home after this. So yup. Then she suggested to go to the atm machine near the mrt. So nice la. But unlucky thing was the atm machine ran out of cash. Cannot withdraw $! No choice but to use my old $10 note to top up what i have to pay for the girl. Walao i was so reluctant to give her la. Cos its those old old type of $10 note leh ): ):

Received Sean's sms, asking me if i have old sec school tb. Cos his friend, a tuition teacher wants to borrow. And of course, the kind me searched my storeroom (: Perpired a little after searching for the books though i have bathed! Tsk tsk. So return his cd and his notes too. Met him at the fitness corner near my house. As usual, chatted. Then funny part was he wanted to test how clear was his camera. So ended up taking alot of photos instead -.- LOL. Btw, i love his phone (: Before that, thought of buying a sony ericsson cybershot phone, forget the model already. But Km faster than me! Then changed my mind and said i wanted omnia instead. Sean faster than me!!! Wahhh dun want to have the same phone as my friends. later they say copycat. HAHA! So....i have decided not to change my phone! Though its abit old alrdy la. But main reason i dun wanna change is cos the phone contains alot of memories (: Though some are in the past, i still treasure them..

Woke up at close to 2pm today! Ok. NOt only today. Its like everyday. Wanted to wake up early to study. Set three alarms. In the end, keep snoozing till 2 -.- Really babi man. Haha. So watched tv all the way till 3 plus? Then did my ppt (: Halfway, mum told me at night cannot go out cos we (family) going out. So there goes my sushi date with xw, esther, amanda, raenes and chermel ):

Went amk hub at night. Had the injection. The flu one. Dinnered then shopped around. Dint bought anything. Tried on clothes but in the end, no size. Waste my time trying out and waste my time! Lol. Then home-ed after that. It was around 9 plus. Cos dad wasn't feeling really well.

Home-d and tv-ed all the way again till 1 plus! Those hongkong shows really rocked. Super nice la. Unlike singapore shows. Since i can't sleep, so msn-ed and continue my ppt again. Edited my ppt and now, it looks much more nicer. I love it especially two of the slides >.<

Supposed to work at 1 tmr. But since xw say she dun feel like waking up so early for work tmr, and since i wanted to shop for bags tmr, i changed with her. That means i need to wake up at 10 tmr. Or maybe earlier cos im always late -.- And its 2.55 now. Left with 7 hours and 5 mins of sleep. LOL. Shall go and sleep now.

School starting on Monday. Only left with sunday to slack. Walao i really envy some people got extended 1 week holiday leh. Rp and Nyp poly have! Cos both poly have swine flu cases. Heard that tp also have one case. Why np dun have?? Tsk tsk if not got extra one more week to slack. Lol. Ok. I may sound bad but...i dread going to school ):


I had finally said what i wanted to tell you after so long. And im sure you understand how im feeling. Sorry if my sms made you worried. Cos you are the only one that is left for me to confide in already. Thanks for always being there for me when i needed a listening ear.

I totally agree with this phrase. “朋友是因为认识而在一起，了解而分开。”

Out again today! Did some mini microbio revision before going out to meet xw. Went swensens for the topless 5! Lol. It was soso only. Choosed the wrong flavours. Still, lime sherbet is the best (: Then took bus 87 then 63 to eunos area. Went to watch freedom bball match. Lost to raffles. But still, good game. Glad they had fun. Haha. They celebrated christopher's birthday. Then cabbed home with chermel and xw. And chermel told us her stories in her jc. Looks like everyone dislikes their school. To be specific, Classmates.

How i wish im still in secondary school. I miss secondary school life man! ): ): ):

Shall continue my revision now! Don't know if my mum allows me to go for the sushi dinner with SBG girls tmr! Have been going out and spending alot on food these few days. Everything is $ $ $. Haha.

You asked me how i find the situation now. My answer is I DON'T KNOW. up till now, i really dun know what i want exactly. Do i just want to be friends with you or more than that? Do i really like you? I don't really know my feelings. Im such a dumbass

School today for netball. Xw accompanied me there(: Saw yingxuan on the bus. Like finally, i see her! Haha. Still, as cute as ever. LOL. Had lunched at Makan place first. Then headed to library. It was about 2 plus then. So started studying. Facebook and blog hopped first before we really settle down to study. Hoho. Did my research for the fungi ppt. Then went to find some books. Took me hell long to find it la. But still, i found it! Damn happy.

Then nearing 5.30, headed to sports complex for netball. First time attending this cca. Saw some girls but dun even knwo if they are from netball. Shy asking them also. LOL. So sms-ed the president. And she said there's no training today. I was like WTH??!!! she told me there's training today last week and i even confirmed with her the date. And she said cos the response was not good and it was raining today also. Wth never even sms me to inform me. I travel from sengkang all the way to clementi leh! PISSED!

So went back all the way to library. and xw was like LOL-ING all the way after i came back. But lucky got accompaniment. If not i duno how to react man. TSK TSK. Then studied. My ppt presentation was supposed to be the fungi topic. But then xw got a set of notes on algae! And just nice the topics teacher gave also got algae -.- So i was like why u never tell me earlier! LOL. Called Safurah and ask her if the algae topic taken up. And sadly, YES! tsk. Tried my luck by asking Jb to change with me. At first he was reluctant. But i think he pity me, so he changed with me in the end. But i feel bad. Cos i really wanted to do the algae topics. So i smsed him to tell him that i did the algae topic halfway, then i realised my topic was supposed to be the fungi one -.- MY BAD! hahhaha but still im happy cos i changed. and just now i found a superb website consisting of all the info i want! Shall do it tmr((:

Then left school at about 6 plus. Changed 3 buses -.- cos we missed 163. HAHHA. Reached compass at about 9. Dinner-ed at kfc. Then camwhore in the toilet! hahah. fun fun. alot of photos. will upload soon. Haha.

Continued my ppt while talking with Tong on the phone. He called from msia leh. Nice talk. Cos i get to tell him my things and i get to hear his stories! Nice (: K im gonna slp now.

Going out with xw to see freedom's bball milo cup match tmr. Wah i seem to enjoy life. I dun wan school to reopen yet! Np got extended 1 week holidays! NOT FAIR

Work at 10am today. Surprisingly, im not late >.< so reached punched card at 9.53am. And i done my job at its only 10.03am. Reason is before i reached, cl help me to do everything! LOL. Thats left me stoning at the table there cos shop 11 then open. Haha. So just helped to top up those mini sauce containers and open up those plastic bags. And time flies. Taddaaa 6pm and off i go. I slept on the mrt -.- first time k. Maybe is the effects after taking the tablet.

As usual, slacked. I swear i never even touch my books during this one plus plus weeks of holidays. Though exams are over, but still need study abit right. And i found out actually i got some hw never do yet! So did ipc hw and revision and maths mol and some maths revision just now. Realise time past so slowly today! In any other days especially when school days, im like fighting for time to study. And i tried studying SLOWLY today. Still, time past so SLOW! Is that a good thing??

Have been thinking a alot these few days. AGAIN.

最近又想了一些东西。我不怕说，我是有很多朋友。不管是我信任的，很熟的还是只是看到才讲几句话，我都很珍惜这个友情。最近跟一个朋友有些问题。吵架了。看了他的简讯后，我伤心了。他说我当他是一个玩偶。有事请才找他，没事就把他扔在一个角落。看到这个简讯之后，我非常伤心也很失望。从我的角度和我其他朋友的角度来看，我并没有这样对他。不过，向他解释会挽回一切吗？一开口说话就吵架。大家都觉得我没错，叫我不要去理他。我心里是说好。不过，我发现我做不到...

"You already have so many friends. Lose one also does not really affect and matter to you." I have heard this so many times and im pissed. Do i look like one who does not treasure friendship? I swear im gonna blast if i hear this sentence again.

Met Sean after work two days ago after work. Wanted to catch a movie but timing dun seem to suit. So just walked around cineleisure and settled at Mac again to talk. Yeah, at last settled alot of things. Good thing i guess?

Out to Msia with family yesterday! It was father's day btw. I swear i enjoy this shopping trip man! Dad went for Thai massage. Left the four females in the fammily to shop! So for the whole of two hours, it seems like im the only person shopping cos i bought the most things? Or can say nobody found things that suited them except me -.- HAHA. I bought two pairs of earrings, two nice pearly bra straps, two tops, a bag and a shoe! LOL. How cool can that be? Im so happy can. Shopping spree indeed (:

Then went for dinner at some shopping centre. And the food sucked! Seriously. And before dinner, alrdy no appetite. Cos ate the wrong thing. Then stomach not really feeling well. GIANT after that. Then home-ed. Reached home at about 9 plus.

And i drank YOMEISHU! Okay. And i htink im sensitive to this kinda "alcohol" i get rash after that! So itchy. Dint sleep well cos the itch keep pestering me for the whole night! It became better today but still, itchy. So decided to go polyclinic.

Wah, the measures the polyclinic took quite scary. Posters everywhere. See people wear mask also scared. I tried to breathe as little as i can. In case, i breathe in those air filled with germs. LOL this sounds retarded. HAHA. So ya, waited for one plus plus hours. I go in for one minute then come out already -.- Wth? But at least i dint felt bored. Cos was messaging all the way. Hoho. someone was also alone seeing doctor. So accompanied each other >.<

The medicine made me felt drowsy. Sms till halfway also fell alseep. Hhaa. And the itch at my thigh , neck and hands are damn irritating!! At least my body dun feel that itchy anymore. The medicine noob one ): hope will not itch by tmr. Cos work tmr. Opening somemore. dun even know got key anot. Im taking over auntie's work tmr man! So cool. Hope everything goes well! hahaha.

At least, i felt better today. Because we sms-ed. soon, we will go back to last time. I HOPE

Yes, as time passes, some things will be forgotten. But still, i won't forget. I dun look like those kinda person right? i will remember the happenings still.

I can say 3e2 chalet was awesome! Especially the 2nd and 3rd day. I seriously enjoyed myself. First day was boring. Normally firts day of chalet are boriinggg. so First day was just settling of money and food stuff. Shopped at ntuc for the bbq. Bought everything. Managed to sell the WWW and escape theme park tickets cos abit budget la.

Surprisingly, 20 over people came to stay over. And sadly, the chalet is too small to let everybody stay. So people like zx barry they all went to jy's house to stay and came back the second day. Lol. So first day, everyone was with their clique. most of them i can say. So was with xw all the while. While the others were playing with the card games/ taboo/ movie, me and xw went to shop around cos very bored. Went cheers. Can't get breezer! The person asked for our ic -.- so went to try our luck at ehub ntuc. Purposely choose a noob cashier. LOL. and of course, we managed to buy it ((:

So the funny thing was we bought it but we duno how to open it -.- took very long to open. We went around asking people for the beer opener or whatever u call that. and after like 10 mins? we managed to find one! So drank. And i felt hot suddenly. Its only 4% alcoholic can. And my face turned red after awhile. Such a noob or weak me. I just wanna try how it feels like la cos never really try to drink alcoholic stuffs except for martell, carlsberg and DOM. For martell, i only drank a few mouthfuls nd got rash on my face the next day. LOL

So dint sleep for the first day! played truth or dare with xw evon esther sam jaryl and ben. this game with them was really exciting man! And the video on facebook damn funny. And my first kiss gone ): given to yvonne ang! LOL. then went to mac with evon and pk and slack there. Then ben sam and des came to join us then xw after that. Then slacked at room. Helping evon and xw to tie scorpion. And she said i can help her LA PI alrdy. Cos she say i tie hair use alot of strength and its pain -.- So sorry man. AHAHA. she's not the first person who complained! My sis also. Too bad la, my hair short. if not can play alrdy. But i really master the technique to tie scorpion alrdy :D pro k. After that was playing of taboo. Very fun! Jq with justin, xw with pk and me with evon. Jq and justin were pro. Me and evon not bad! Xw and pk BOO. lol. So played bridge for the whole of morning till around 7am. cos its just to fun man! Then everyone slowly got tired. So tried lying on bed but can't sleep ): headache plus people were noisy especially ben! So high after one day of sleep. keep making funny actions and singing songs. ROFL really joker.

Second day, went selling tickets with xw and yongda. Then bought the rest of the seafoods. the prawns damn ex! Cards again in the afternoon. Love bridge <3

Took group photo and cut cake. Think pk quite surprised. Hope he is happy. HAHA. the cake quite nice la. sang birthday songs for like three times? in chinese and english. How cool can it be? lol. Then some went home. To be exact, chermel, justin, weiling, alastair, wanni and zhan xiang went home. Some went to sleep, bathe. Me, evon, xw, yusiang, des and clay were sitting outside. Then started talking. Then more and more people joined! decided to play truth or dare!

Got me, evon, esther, ben, des, clay, pk, jerry,yusiang, jq, jaryl, amanda, yongda and xw. Hope i don't miss out anyone! I swear this is the best truth or dare game ever! Found out alot of things. Know almost everybody's secrets man! its good. Cos get to know more about others. Poly alrdy. We are grown ups. Whats there to be scared of. HAHA. got to know about who had crush on who and some quite private stuffs. Hmmmmm.. I swear i dint lie about things they asked. And there's this question esther and ben asked which makes the atmosphere damn intense and went quiet suddenly. Hais. They were actually hesitating whether to ask. Then i keep saying "want ask what jiu ask la". so in the end, they asked and im really stunned. Din expect them to ask me that. And i really regret urging them to ask me. Hais. So sorry if the person is offended ):

Then at around 1 plus, got back to chalet as some got tired. Played 2 games of bridge with xw evon and yusiang. Then went back to chalet to listen to music cos was quite affected by the question asked. Got bored after awhile. Xw and ys were outside talking. Then me and des joined after that. And know what? We had a heart to heart talk session!!!! the four of us only. Its like really a nice feeling talking to them. I dint expect me to actually speak up so openly with ys and des. They are nice to talk with seriously. Listened to their stories also. And while listening to me, they gave me advices also. We talked about almost everything under the sun! From bgr to friendship to poly to studies. Everything! And i really enjoyed the time. Hours of talking! And funny thing was we sat outside and they started having itchyness on their hands and legs. MOSQUITOES. But i don't feel any itch! My blood not that sweet luh ): The others went mac to eat. They came back to joined us after eating which was like around 3-4 plus? So we ( plus esther, amanda, jq, yd and jerry) talked again! But this time, is about poly stuff and discussing about esther being the air stewardness and the aeroplane crash etc. Lol its funny to hear about all this. Air stewardess to buy big insurance to how plane can crash or explode to hijackers to 911 to everything! Too many to be listed. HAHA. Talked till around 7 plus. Then All of us squeezed to the chalet and sleep! Tried to sleep. And i managed to but whole body aching -.- Cos there's 6 people -.- damn squeezy i tell u.

I really enjoy this chalet! Its like i really get to know more about my friend's secrets and life. How are they doing. The truth of dare game really bonded us. At least i understand my friends better(: LOVE IT! hope to have another chalet soon! if nobody wanna organise, i shall organise! Though every chalet im like one of the so called organisers. Haha. But being organiser very sian lehhh.. how how. LOL. So checked out at around 10 plus. Left only a few people cos most went home first while we were sleeping. Bused home with ben jaryl, jerry, esther, jq, yd and xw. Was feeling damn tired. The while journey was quiet all the way cos everyone is shagged! LOL.

Bathed and slept till 4pm. then went for 1F01 bbq. The food nice! Somemore i go there, dun need to do the bbq-ing. LOL. Alot of prawns chicken wings and other stuffs to eat! I keep eating lo. LOL. Cos nice mah. HAHA. but sadly, i dint really talk much with my poly friends. Not close. Only like laugh when they joke and talk just to entertain them. Hais. I still prefer secondary school life. HOW!!! )))): BUsed home with siyun and JB. Only said bye when getting off the bus. Seriously, i dun even know what to talk to them k. No topics at all. Feel that they are just a friend. Only talk to them when there's school. Once outside school, no talk. In short, hi-bye friends. Thats sad. Im sure everyone agrees with me. As in 3e2. Cos we were getting emo and complaining how sucks poly friends are!!

Met sean at Rm. Talked alot..

Work today. Wah everybody call me auntie. In a joking mode of course! LOL. Cos i do the job of what auntie do la. Fun leh i think. No need to serve, no need be cashier. just help mop floor, wipe the fridge and wash rice etc. AHA. and i think i will soon become the NIAN QING BAN auntie. Cos Ah Siong put me to work on 10-6! That means opening of shop! Im a newbie man! This is auntie's job btw -.- But who cares. 6 go home leh! OMG!! Then waited for sean for 1 hour and 20 mins! LOL. Cos he bused down form airport-.- walked around. Went cine. Wanted to watch movie but timing dun suit. So just settled at mac. Talked again. And yeah, home after that.


jaryl: Yes, we did talk in chalet. You told xw that you will talk to me in this chalet. And u did it. Am i glad? No i dun think so. Reason is cos i know no matter how we talk, we cannot go back to last time alrdy. As i have said alot of times, you are my most trusted friend. I told alot of people that. Im not afraid to tell everyone that u know my everything inside out. But what happen now? You dun know me anymore. The first day of chalet, u smoked infront of me. I saw it. I dunno how to react. Am i supposed to be angry? sad? or should i just close one eye and pretend nothing is happening? you told me you would change and won't smoke. Im sure if it was last time, you won't smoke infront of me no matter what. Now everything has changed. I got alot of questions to ask u during the truth or dare session. But i dun know how. I wanna know what you are thinking. But...guess i have no chance anymore. in everyone's eyes, it may seem that we are ok already. but still, i dun think we are okay. i wanna go back to last time. where is my pm????? i can't find you anymore. please dun play hide and seek with me.

pk: Dun feel guilty already. I know you feel very sad and embarrassed during the game. Bout the questions they asked, i apologise to you on their behalf. You cried. It made me really guilty. Cos if i had not urged them, they would not have asked.. dun apologise to me. Cos i really never blame you alrdy. Its alrdy the past. Move on and get over with it. Cheer up.

kr: You said i dun treat u as a friend. you said im making use of you. But i dint. I duno what makes you think this way. But im truely disappointed in how you see me. You said im manipulating you around whenever i need help. Did i? Yes i did find you when i need help. But im not making use of u. I seriously treat you as a friend. One of my trusted friend. But now? i think u hate me. You treat me well. Yes i agree. But that does not mean i must accept you. Hais. IM confused ):

sean: Settled things totally? I think so. I hope so. I dun wanna drag any further. Cos i dun wanna pull you down further and hurt you ever again. You are really a nice guy. Sorry for doing this to you. Hope u understand .

Sometimes i really hate myself. Why i keep hurting people? im such a bitch/slut. Im angry with myself! Angry yet sad. Hais. what to do?

EDITED

Desmond msn-ed me just now. Asking me not to call myself a bitch/slut. While talking to him, i teared. why i call myself a bitch? I thought for very long just now. I put myself in other people's shoe. If im another person and i see a girl acting in the same way as me, i would scold her and call her a bitch. and he said, if people dun know me, yes they will think that way. But people who know me will think that im not that kind of person. But the problem is those who know me well will think im not those kinda person. What do those people who know me but dun know me well? What will they see me as?

Anw thanks des for cheering me up. Im really shocked that u actually msn-ed and msg me. Really glad. Thanks for listening to me and ur advices(:


Im sad and im crying..

PHOTOS :D